Cracked Eggs and Cookie Cutters

It has often occurred to me that I have a stubborn will. I have given God more than just a little resistance when it comes to conforming to His image. More often than not, it seems as though I kick against the pricks.  I have no desire to lose 'myself' and become another cookie cutter version of a the Christian wife and mother. How do I remain my silly sarcastic self and still honor the Lord? How do I successfully couple a walk with a holy God and a love for art, music, and movies? This can be quite the challenge.
Even while writing this blog and reading the Bible today the Lord had to nearly scream to get my attention. To get me to stop, to consider, to soak in the moments of life. There is a lesson in every moment of your day, good or bad. You just have to take the time to listen for them.
It came to me while making breakfast, one of the few meals I can actually cook without messing up-scrambled eggs to be exact because in my eyes, it is impossible to destroy something that is by design 'scrambled'.
This revelation had absolutely nothing to do with the eggs and everything to do with the cracked shell . In order to begin a meal for my hungry and ready to jump in the snow babies, I had to break the shell. I had to change the form of the egg and make it into something new in order to meet a need. The Lord, our master 'chef', has been 'cracking eggs' for a long time now. The more I fight Him, the more I try and hold on to this sense of determined individuality , I realize I am wasting the Lord's time and my own. I am literally telling a chef how to make an omelet when I have no business doing so as I cannot cook to save my life!

In many ways we are like that egg....we need to be broken in order to be used effectively. I need to spill the contents of my sinful self and cast it to hell just as the contents of the egg spills to the hot frying pan and is transformed into something edible and nutritional. Through the fire we must go so many times until we realize we are fighting against the inevitable.
So why the cookie cutter heading? It has been a goal of mine, a stubborn fleshly goal I may add, to never lose myself in my walk with Jesus. For me, it is crucial to maintain some sense of uniqueness amid the mass of ladies who would call themselves Christians. Ladies I am honored to call sisters in Christ. It stands to reason that if every cookie looks and thinks the same, what benefit would that have for the greater good? But what if that is exactly what He wants me to do? What if my 'self' is not really my own but what this world has molded me into? What if who the Lord desires me to be is a wonderful merriment of the way He created me and the way He wants to mold and shape me? Today I am allowing myself to be cookie dough in the hands of the master chef/baker. After all, who is this identity that I so boldly hold on to? Who is this Jennifer that cannot and will not allow the Lord to purify her? How can I expect to be a blessing to anyone else if I refuse to let Him shape me? So Lord Jesus, poor me into the mold today. Because I am convinced that even the mold is specific to the individual 'cookie' and that this cookie will have some cracks and maybe a few places that are overcooked but all in all, the cookie will serve its purpose, and will be sweet :)

And be not conformed to this world: but be ye transformed by the renewing of your mind, that ye may prove what is that good and acceptable and perfect will of God.  Romans 12:2 

Who are you conforming to today? The world, or the Lord? Turn on the radio and hear the world's music and without choice you have begun a dance with the desires of the flesh, quite the contrary to the spiritual walk the Lord desires of us. Watch a movie that conveys a message contrary to what you know to be true about our faith and set yourself back ten paces. Log onto your computer without first consulting the inspired word of God and you are going into battle without weapons. (A few of my mistakes indeed.)
Each day as a mother I engage in a constant battle with stubborn wills. Take for example, the crying child who wants to venture out into the  snow in pajamas and boots only. We look at him and go 'are you serious? you will freeze to death , get sick, get hurt, the list goes on. But all the child sees is a fresh opportunity for freedom and exploration. The Lord our Father is looking at us with that same raised eyebrow and listening to our whining with the same consideration as we do the irrational child. But unlike us, he always:  KNOWS WHAT IS BEST FOR HIS CHILDREN. Plain and simple.
Child, why are you fighting me when I have your best interest at heart?! Why do you press towards the fire when I urge you that it will  in fact burn you?
Let the Lord lovingly dress you in 'layers' before going out into the 'snow'. If you truly do not see the logic in His direction , go to Him in prayer, He will not let you down.
"See honey, a hat for your head, gloves for your hands, thick pants for your legs, a jacket...this all keeps you warm so you can go out into the cold and play"  ... "Oh Momma, so my fingews dont fweeze? Okay I will" Eyes widen, smile broadens. He is beginning to understand ...and so am I

I am Jesus whom thou persecutest; it is hard for thee to kick against he pricks.  Acts 9:5 
Don't wait until the Lord has to blind you as He did Saul. Keep your eyes open to what the Lord wants you to see and in that way remain a teachable and modifiable dough, ready to be used for the baker's purpose.

Created In His Image

The most humbling characteristic about our Lord is that He allows each of us to have a deep personal relationship with him. Stop and think about just how fantastic that is for a moment. Why would the Creator of all things want to know me? Truly a humbling thought to say the least. Just as we have individual relationships with each one of our children, our Father encourages such between himself and the believer. Even me! In the same way that we have a unique relationship with our Lord, we are also made in His "own image, and after His own likeness" (as told to us in Genesis 1:26). It should come as no surprise to us then, that our children would have taken certain attributes from us. This can be both a comforting and a sorrowful thought. When it comes to our Lord, we can rest assured that what we have inherited from him is without spot or blemish. Not so much when it comes to what we have handed down to our babies.
I do believe, however, that the Lord has a unique and unfailing sense of humor, which I plan to use to my advantage on this journey. I am a prime example of such a sentiment, but there are many instances in His Word that lead me to that wonderful conclusion .I mean think about this, has something ever happened that made you literally stop, look to the sky and say "really God?" with a smile on your face and a shake of your head ? That private exchange between you and the Lord that no one else would understand? That is what I love!  Is our Lord sarcastic? I cannot tell you for certain, but He lovingly created me in that way and so I desire to share this journey of raising three amazing children up for Him while also enjoying a marriage to my husband.

I guess you can say my brain starts 'blogging' when my eyes open each day and does not stop until my head hits the pillow in the evening. My journey has been seasoned with many instances in which I have had to learn, and re-learn, how to listen rather than speak, find peace in God and not man, and remain unaffected by the world's tendency to dismiss God as nothing more than a genie in a bottle if anything at all. (Did I mention all of these are a work in progress?)
Let's just say , my soon to be readers, my brain is a wellspring of thoughtfulness and hilarious takes on life that could very well make your day- or make you feel sorry for me. In either case this could be a win win if you gain at least a smile from them.
Join me, as I take my Savior's hand and walk through the forest of child rearing , marriage building, and homemaking. Taking long pauses to be insightful and short stops to laugh at myself as I discover what the Lord has already lovingly  locked away for me in His word.
Please allow me to encourage you to smile, to take deep breathes, to treat each day as a memory and not a box to cross off a calendar. Be patient with yourselves, with your children, your spouses, and with me, as we begin something so precious to me.

Except the LORD build the house, they labour in vain that build it... ~ Psalm 127:1a

Let us not labour in vain friends....because it makes me tired that's why! :) And if we labour correctly the first time, there will be more time for cookies and tea ;)